"Too close for missles, I'm switching to guns."

When dealing or discussing male-female interpersonal relationships, I seem to have a tendancy to wax analogous. And more often than not it seems that those analogies are drawn from either politics or warfare. More specifically things that I remember from my Comparative Politics class or saw on CNN and Saving Private Ryan or Top Gun. Top Gun has to be one of my favorite mediums for comparison. My buddy Heath (12-20) and I constantly use these analogies when we talk and I never cease to be amazed at the new and insightful ways we find use for the United States Naval Aviators.

Ok, here is a classic example and something that most refer too without much tought of it: The "Wingman". Now suppose that my friend, Pete, is interested in this girl and wants to go hang out with her. Does he go over to her place alone to hang out? Or suppose we're at a Party and Pete is trying to get to know this girl, does he set himself up ("Tell her I'm good-looking...and I'm rich and I have a rapist wit") or fend off the swarming "less attractive" girls. No, he calls in me, his "Wingman". In flies the Wingman and just as in the skies, the wingman's job is not to take a self-serving lead but simply to cover his buddy. Ugly girl gettin in your buddies way? Wingman intercepts. It's a self-less, charitable position, and requiste for most male-female "dogfights". "Never leave your Wingman"

Where is this going? Well, with all that said, the other day I got to thinking about a form of "combat anxiety" I simply call "The precautionary ejection". Its best described as when a pilot (Person A) spotting a Bogey (Person B, a member of the opposite sex) and deciding to engage the Bogey (talk to, get to know, go on a date, etc.) in a dogfight (the back and forth flirting / mind games of the intial courting or dating process) Now the pilot has commited himself to the fight. In a dogfight there are really only two definite outcomes: You win or you lose. When the pilot realizes this, that's not the bad part, its when he feels like he is losing the fight and the Bogey is moving to his "Six" and is going in for the kill. Its at this (oh yeah that means that Person B is not interested as much or at all in Person A and then the "kill" part is some form of humiliating and long-term emotionally scarring rejection...maybe). Anyway when the pilot feels like he is losing control of the dogfight, he gets shaky and a little hysterical and his thinking goes something like this:

"Crap...ok, I stay in this, maybe hit the brakes and they'll fly right by and I can switch to guns and get 'em..."
-BEEEEEEP (of a missle lock)-
"Or, I can just eject now just to be safe and avoid dying in a horribly messy and metallic fireball."
-EJECT-

Ejection is simply giving up, either not talking to or altogether ignoring them, being an out-right jerk to them, or even going to their home cursing at their mother, slaping their father and hog tying their little brothers (which actually IS as satisfying as it sounds). But the more vetran and experienced a pilot gets the less likely he is to freak out and eject. But there is always this part of every pilots mind that says "Hey, let's just eject. I like eating cookie dough way too much to die right now." Yeah, dude, stay alive for the cookie dough.