“He’s kind of a strange old hermit.”

I live alone. I’ve never lived alone. In fact I’ve never had my own room. No, for the second year of my life I think I had my own room. Then I got this roommate named Colin. Constantly screamed and was always pooping his pants, but we worked things out. And then I got my own room as a Resident Assistant in the dorms, but I was on the same floor as 40 other guys who were always over hanging out and we all shared a bathroom. So I still maintain that I have never lived alone. But now, for the remainder of the summer I live alone...

...and I like it.

When I look in my refrigerator, everything in there is mine. I had trouble with my food going bad in my last apartment. Mostly I found it was because I only would end up eating what I remembered having, and produce or dairy products aren’t that memorable. When I clean up the place, it stays clean until I make it messy, and it being a mess is easy for me to deal with because, hey, I made that mess. I get out of the shower and can watch TV or walk around with no concept of decency or common courtesy, because no one is there but me. A very naked me. When I pause a movie or my video game to head out for some action, I come home to find it exactly as I left it, rather than turned off during a critical level so that my roommate could watch some dumb baseball game. There’s always enough hot water Sunday morning, and no one eats my food because they “thought” it was theirs. But most of all, I like having a retreat, a sanctuary. A place just for me.

"This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone. DID YOU HEAR ME? I'M LIVING ALONE!!!"

It’s this thought of being alone that reminds me of a scripture about Jacob in Genesis 32:24. And Jacob was left alone; and there wrestled a man with him until the breaking of the day. Most people might not remember this scripture, but this was one of the most significant events of Jacob’s entire life. He was left alone to wrestle with the Lord.

Jacob wrestled with the unidentified “man” all through the long night relentlessly. And when morning came Jacob wouldn’t let him go and stated “I will not let thee go, except thou bless me.” Jacob was blessed and thereafter called Israel or One who prevails with God. But before he was blessed and made the father of a great nation, he had to be alone. And in that solitude he had to wrestle and grapple all night in the dark, with a mysterious person. And when morning came and he was still locked in a stalemate, he hadn’t lost focus. He’s was perhaps even more determined than ever. He knew what he wanted and was going to hold that Half-Nelson until his arm fell off. And in the course of that night, I suppose he gained a better understanding of himself as well. Maybe there’s some deeper value to living alone than simply watching soccer while drinking milk out of the jug, naked in the middle of the living room...maybe.

..."and the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone.”