“I’m a gigolo.” “…Jigga who?”

Women, girls, chicks, babes; it seems to be the perpetual focus of nearly every man. You want to find them, woo them, win them over and keep them around. ("But why do they swoon? Charlie, why do they swoon???")So you would think that an evening spent with six girls would be rad. But by the end of the evening I sort of felt like I was on the brink of an estrogen overdose. Which got me to thinking about the different roles that girls can take on in their relationship with guys. Most obviously there is the “Girlfriend” or your significant other. This is the girl that you want most to see, talk with, and be romantic with. The “mothers” are protective, caring and worried about you with a weird maternal affection, and selflessly do things for your well-being as only (you would think) a mother could. “Sisters” are the girls you can hang out with, joke around with, and just plain talk with; yet there is a mutual sort of non-attraction. Not un-attraction, just a sort of absence of assessment — just as there would be with a female sibling (I should qualify that by saying “in most states”). And let’s not forget the “Super-Hot Sex Vixens”...

...I guess those are pretty much self-explanatory.

I guess you could say these girls are my “sisters” in Provo. And I suppose its time for me to pay my dues with sisters. I’ve lived in a primarily brother oriented world. Three brothers for most of my life and then my little sister didn’t really start to “girl-ify” until I was pretty much out of the house and in college. Then on a mission with other guys my age, with the sort of comradery that definitely would be described as a fraternity or brotherhood. As an Resident Assistant in the guys dorms, I was inundated with nearly 40 new “brothers” only to be followed with more “brothers” in the form of roommates (though some mornings they sure used the bathroom like sisters). But now all my “bro’s” have left for the summer and its seems as though I am a lone man in Provo, Utah.

So I suppose it’s healthy to have this sort of exposure to things like random dance parties of three people, brownies at 3 a.m., giddy excitement over movies like "The Notebook,” long conversations about nothing, and doing things that make themselves “feel cute.” Yeah, healthy like a sledgehammer blow to your jaw. I think I felt less culture shock when I was dropped off in the middle of the island of Macau in Southeast Asia. But based on these foreign and often bewildering times, I have concluded at least one thing is for sure: I’m gonna have daughters...probably six.

I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13 movie where everyone is really hoping for him. I want you to be the guy in the rated R movie where no one is too sure about him.