“Hey Eckhardt, think about the future!”My mind wandered to the events of the recent past and the impending future. Going home for Jeff’s wedding was great. His wife is cute, fun, athletic, smart, and cute. I got to hang out with Jeff some the night before, went to the sealing, and then talked with him at the reception. I was reminded of all the times Jeff and I had played at each others homes in Medford and the times we’d worked and talked together in Hong Kong. It’s so cool to see one of your good friends find someone special and watch them start the rest of the lives together. And now its Jeff and Aime Zimmer. He did it; He made it. And I was left congratulating and pondering my own marital status.
“Escape is not his plan. I must face him. Alone.”Todd was home. Actually he’s still home; Ensnared in limbo. It was kind of sad to see him caught in a shell of himself. I likened it to a dream. A dream where you know you’re gone in Brazil, working as a dedicated missionary, but the world around you, you’re dream world, tells you that you are not and that although you know and feel that you are a missionary, you’re environment is anything but. What your eyes see conflicts with what your heart knows; trapped. I think they call this a nightmare. Only you can’t wake up from this in the morning, you have to just sit and wait for the visa. But by Saturday night, he had warmed up and we were having fun.
“I like being unimpressive. I sleep better.”I finally saw Garden State as well. As I sat down in the theater I honestly felt that the movie would never live up to the expectations I had conjured up. I…was wrong. It was exactly what I had wanted and imagined. It made me smile and laugh at parts both ridiculous and all too true. And in a way, the movie made me feel. That may sound weird but every now and again I watch a movie that capture an emotion, an event, a feeling. Like a biopsy of my life or a slice of the Dustin pie, its like a self contained memory. A memory I never had. And when I watch it, it reminds me of the feelings I had at a point in my life, then associated with that movie. And for some reason, this movie, captures this last summer; my summer in ‘Jersey.’ I loved it and I want to see it again.
“Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather it's a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan.”And onto the future. I watch the featureless scenery and yellow striped lines of Interstate 84 blip past. A new scholastic year, knocking at my door, almost as if asking permission to come in. Potential. There is a lot of potential for this coming year. Fun to be had, goals to be achieved, and destiny to realized. (Wow that sounds pretty epic.) How much control do we even have over our ‘destiny’? Are we even that destined? If you want it that bad, what are you willing to do to achieve it? What are you willing to give up? What am I going to eat for breakfast? I think a mind could be ripped apart by too much thinking. Thinking, unhampered by any external influences or senses. Apparently that does make you a Pinball Wizard, but I don’t think that makes you a very sane person. I guess in the words of Winston Churchill:
“It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.”
Left unchecked, I guess I think too much. That usually isn't bad, I like it. Maybe it makes me more observant, more attentative, more analytical. But sometimes I guess I just get going and my thoughts start to snowball out of control, bearing down on me like that boulder in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Ready to smash me into oblivion…
“Good luck in the infinite abyss.”…I think it’s Colin’s turn to drive.
No comments:
Post a Comment